The day you accept Blue Ivy Carter is, and has always been, better than you is the day you can start living YOUR best life.
Its unfair. The deck wasstacked against you. You werent born the daughter of a world icon and a formerpart owner of the Brooklyn Nets, and that sucks.
Of course, sure, we know we all cant be Blue Ivy. Its just not possible. There are like seven billion people in the world and only one baby Queen.
But, that doesnt make the pill any easier to swallow.
Blue Ivys the most glamorous kid of all time. She has the attitude of North West, the fashion sense of Suri Cruise and the royalty status of Prince George of Cambridge.
Shes like the Megazord of great celebrity offspring. Its almost like she was constructed in a secret celebrity-breeding laboratory somewhere. You know what, if you think about it, she totally was, and that laboratory was called Beyoncs Womb.
If you still think your childhood was as good as Blue Ivy’s, you should probably consider all these ways her life has been better than yours.
1. How’d those hand-me-downs work out for you, bud? Blue Ivyhasn’t even been taughtwhat hand-me-downs are yet.
I love Blue Ivy’s outfit. Slay fashion Queen, slay. pic.twitter.com/zjBHmmxped
— Happy Bday Blue Ivy (@reppingBey) September 13, 2015
2. Your family photos were turd nuggets compared to these gems.
3. *cough* How many Grammy Awards you won, brah? *cough*
Happy 4th birthday to Blue Ivy, she’s the youngest EVER person to feature on a Grammy winning album. pic.twitter.com/lvGy20vTuS
— Music’s Rebellion (@MusicsRebellion) January 7, 2016
4. I’d LOVE to see what a picture of your mom and her friends having a girls’ night looks like.
— i-u (@yourbooasf) December 19, 2015
5. Your face wasnt covered in bees.
— Global Grind (@GlobalGrind) December 31, 2015
6. Your squad wasn’t as good as Blue Ivy’s squad.
7. Your Halloween costumes SUCKED.
Beyonc, Jay Z e Blue Ivy no Halloween ontem de noite! pic.twitter.com/16A3xbaAL9
— Fatos de Msica (@MusicFatos) November 1, 2015
8. Your dad was in charge of the Parent-Teacher Association; Blue Ivy’s dad is in charge of Roc Nation.
RT OverTimeGrind: Jay-Z stopped by the stlouisrams locker room after their win to check up on Roc Nation client To pic.twitter.com/i9eL4wjGEQ
— zak Newell (@newell_zak) December 14, 2015
9. You wore bows; she wore CROWNS.
— VOGUE.CO.UK (@BritishVogue) January 7, 2016
10. ENJOY BABYGAP, YOU UGLY POOR GARBAGE TROLL. BLUE IVY SHOPS AT THE GOLDEN CHOCOLATE STORE.
— Z100 New York (@Z100NewYork) January 7, 2016
11. I would LOVE to see what your mom looked like when she was pregnant with you.
— 2016 #KP4 (@MKPMCBDBABITT) August 30, 2015
All hail the baby Queen.
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