Ever since Marvel and DC took complete control of the box office, Ive become superhero obsessed.
Consider me a nerd if youd like, but my knowledge on this topic is as vast as the Sahara.
Curious when X-Men came out? 2000, baby. How fast can The Flash run? Faster than the speed of light, duh, so that equals about670,616,629 miles per hour.
And if youre wondering when Chris Evans contract expires, thatd be post-Infinity War and its successor.But fingers crossed that handsome mug stays around for more action.
Theres justsomething about these fantastical films that draws me in.
I think its the idea of escaping reality, placing yourself within a world where these powers exist and are so prevalent. Its refreshing and feels completely separate from therepetitive features we see hitting theaters over and over again.
Oh, and it doesnt hurt that the actors cast in these movies are absolute smoke shows.
Im talking perfect specimens who deserve to be frozen and kept for preservation just to analyze how we can multiply their genes for a lifetime.
And in honor of National Superhero Day today, Ive rounded up the sevenhottest superheroes whom Id want to rescue me (from a tree, a burning building or a bad date).
You know, whatever works.
1. Superman, played by Henry Cavill
Supermansproven his knack for versatility time and time again, swapping his Clark Kent reporter persona forthe Man of Steel in mere seconds.
Not only do hisactions seem effortless, as he repeatedlysaves the day time and time again, but he does it in a skintight suit that bulges in all the right places.
I wouldnt usually say alien is my type, but for Superman, Ill make an exception.
2.Daredevil, played by Charlie Cox
I like a good brains-and-brain combination, and thats exactly what you get in Matt Murdock.
The lawyer-by-day, superhero-by-night patrols the streets of New York City as crimson vigilante, Daredevil.
Though blinded at a young age, Murdocks natural human abilities were amplified and, when combined with his martial arts training, shift him from average to downright awesome.
I bet hes good with his hands.
3. The Flash, played by Grant Gustin
The Flashs strength is not only his speed, but also that damn jawline.
When hes not being the fastest man alive, hes busy playing the role of babyfaced forensic scientist Barry Allen, who would be perfect to take home to mom (which is a sore subject since, in the comic, he loses his mom but thats for another conversation).
Dont you just want him toslow down, so you can pinch those cheeks?
The Flash is certainly quick on his feet, but Im sure I could keep up.
4. Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth
Probably big penis.
5. Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman
Wolverine is the bad boy in high school you were told to stay away from.
For that reason, hes downrightirresistible. Hed be the one to call when youre cornered by a gang of unruly, feeble-minded men (or, you know, just an ex-boyfriend) who are overdue for an ass-kicking.
If youre already an avid X-Men watcher, you should know his version of saving the day typically involves a fair amount of bloodshed.
Whatever gets those veins throbbing, I guess.
6. Arrow, played by Stephen Amell
Stephen Amell is the perfect counterbalance to his fellow CW superhero actor, Grant Gustin.
He has a much more rugged look, equipped with a raspy voice and heaping amount of aggression. What do you expect from a man who was shipwrecked on an island for five long, arduous years of his life?
Thats right: plenty of sexual frustration.
Put that quiver of arrows down and come. To. Papa.
7. Captain America, played by Chris Evans
Captain America is the epitome of perfection.
Hes a true patriot, here to represent his country. He believes in right and wrong, hes respectable and hes a trustworthy comrade. Hes also the most beautiful person Ive ever laid eyes on.
Just look at him. LOOK AT HIM. His arms are the size of at least three of my heads. (And my dome is huuuuge.)
Steve Rogers has come quite the long way, transitioning from a scrawny teen into a strong, super warrior, and boy, am I grateful. So grateful, in fact, that I may go play with some explosivesjust to get good ol Cap on the scene.
Thats not too extreme, right? Im dedicated to the cause.