How Secretly Gross Are You?

(It’s OK, no one will ever know which ones you clicked.)

  1. BuzzFeed / Julia Pugachevsky
    1. 1 ✓ You derive a special enjoyment from popping pimples.
    2. 2 ✓ You’ve had a deep-seated urge to pop someone else’s pimples.
    3. 3 ✓ And you followed your dreams and actually DID pop someone else’s pimples.
    4. 4 ✓ You’re always a little proud of those extra-crunchy eye crusts you accumulate in the morning.
    5. 5 ✓ And you genuinely admire the puddle of drool on your pillow.
    6. 6 ✓ You feel an inexplicable comfort from squeezing the blackheads on your nose.
    7. 7 ✓ Or, if you’re a little fancier, you simply MUST look at the dirt on the little hairs on your blackhead nose/chin strips.
    8. 8 ✓ You feel a strong sense of personal accomplishment when producing a really long poop.
    9. 9 ✓ (Or just a lot of poop in general, like to fill the whole toilet.)
    10. 10 ✓ Your meaning of the word “excavate” directly relates to examining the big chunks of food hanging on your floss.
    11. 11 ✓ You feel a wave of inspiration when your morning breath is so stinky that you can smell it from one soft exhale.
    12. 12 ✓ And you’re endlessly fascinated by farts you can still smell after a good few seconds.
    13. 13 ✓ You feel great satisfaction from digging up a sizable hunk of earwax.
    14. 14 ✓ And if your Q-tip leaves you wanting more, you just keep digging until you strike gold.
    15. 15 ✓ It’s an early Christmas for you when you scrape out some quality dirt from under your nails.
    16. 16 ✓ And you like to welcome the winter holidays by scratching your head and forming a tiny dandruff blizzard.
    17. 17 ✓ You feel mighty clever for noticing and pulling out the hairs that get stuck in your butt after a shower.
    18. 18 ✓ And you experience a wave of inner strength when you blow out a lot of mucus.
    19. 19 ✓ You like to marvel at how a particularly large booger managed to stay intact after you pick it out.
    20. 20 ✓ Then, you carefully place said booger under a table and feel like a champion.
    21. 21 ✓ OR YOU EAT IT, if you’re actually a champion.
    22. 22 ✓ You feel fierce for biting off a teeny chunk of your lip and then swallowing it.
    23. 23 ✓ And you feel a life-changing sense of joy when you burp in your mouth and can taste what you previously ate.
    24. 24 ✓ You sometimes wipe greasy potato chip hands all over your laptop and are amazed at the amount of oily substance you just consumed.
    25. 25 ✓ And you consider yourself a perfect scavenger when finding and eating leftover crumbs in your sweater.
    26. 26 ✓ You experience a complex mix of horrified and impressed when plucking out an ingrown hair that got freakishly long in its fleshy cavern.
    27. 27 ✓ You’re always a little pleasantly surprised when you smell your pits and realize your smelliness-potential.
    28. 28 ✓ You like to hock loogies and feel like a true city slicker.
    29. 29 ✓ Or, you’ll try to hock a loogie, accidentally spit all over your chin, and suck it all back up anyway.
    30. 30 ✓ You slyly avoid washing your hands when no one else is around (because you’re in a rush).
    31. 31 ✓ Or you do it for the sheer thrill of getting away with it.
    32. 32 ✓ You like to challenge how long you can go without changing your sheets.
    33. 33 ✓ And you feel like the king/queen of the world when you smell an unwashed outfit and deem it suitable enough for a re-wear.
    34. 34 ✓ You smile on the inside when your puke is a pretty color.
    35. 35 ✓ But you also embrace the chunkier variety because you believe all puke should be loved.
    36. 36 ✓ You feel overcome with an alluring sense of mystery when you lift up the toilet seat and see the grime underneath.
    37. 37 ✓ And you are consistently intrigued by hardened toothpaste in your sink that even the strongest streams of water can’t wash out.
    38. 38 ✓ You feel truly alive when you pee the moment you get into the shower.
    39. 39 ✓ And you feel like a true artist when sticking loose hairs on the shower wall instead of throwing them out.
    40. 40 ✓ This list didn’t make you nauseous!

Show me my results!

How Secretly Gross Are You?

  1. Congrats, you are not a human! You are either a god, an alien, or some mythical being. You don’t poop, sweat or fart, like, ever. You radiate pure sunshine and everything blossoms in your path. Good for you!

    Columbia Records / Via

  2. Congrats, you’re generally a pretty clean person! You have very few disgusting secrets and you’re just fine with that. You’re comfortable being your tidy self, and people really appreciate you for it.

    Fox / Via

  3. Congrats, you’re a real person! Your body excretes substances you don’t fully comprehend but you just roll with it. You do what you can but you could also be a little prouder of your delightfully disgusting body. Go on, it’s OK!

    Paramount Pictures / Via

  4. Congrats, you’re pretty secretly gross! You love big poops and you cannot lie. Large boogers you can’t deny. Come join the dark side, friend.

    MTV / Via

  5. Congrats, you are really, really gross. It may not even be that much of a secret. Your body is a weird place and you unabashedly embrace it, because you know who you are. You win this quiz. Congratulations, again!

    NBC / Via


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